Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
You were witty, brilliant, competitive, driven, making a difference in the world...you had an ease about you that let anyone know that you were a friend. I always admired you and thought about you from time to time. My thoughts included things like: my friend from high school, Scott, is doing cancer research...how awesome is that? Scott- he was friends with everyone and made being smart look cool. Something very hard to do in high school...where being cool is all about the car you drive and the clothes that you wear and hanging with the popular crowd. He was cool in a very different way...one that is lasting and one that changes people's lives.
I never told Scott any of this while he was alive...because we never want to tell people how we really feel about them because it makes us feel uncomfortable. Today, I am sad that Scott is no longer in this world. I am thankful for the bright light that he shone in all of our lives, I just wish that it was still shining. I am going to tell someone today exactly how I feel about them...
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
1. Digging for diamonds at Murfreesboro State Park. This is the part of the summer I plan to strike it rich. But, if I don't, it still sounds like a good time. Just kickin it, digging in the dirt like I am 8 years old again in the dirt pile in front of the house.
2. Grilling, lots of grilling. And inviting friends over to eat said grilled food. I hope they like grilled eggplant :)
3. Grow a vegetable garden. Especially tomatoes and squash and mint. Hello mojito.
4. Caves. Visit at least one cave. I live close to many caves and have never been to one.
5. Garage Sale Saturday. I plan to pick one saturday and get up at six like the hardcore garage salers and scavenge for treasures. This just sounds fun.
6. Bake Bread.
7. Have fresh flowers weekly. I just like it.
8. Make gumbo (this possibly could have been someone else's idea but I put it on here anyway. I can share my summer fun with others!)
9. Eat Hubcap Burger. Somewhere in Arkansas there is a restaurant that sells burgers the size of a hubcap. I've always wanted to do it. Must find the place first.
10. Write. More.
11. Spa Girls Weekend!!!
12. Small Town Festivals. Like the Altus Grape (Wine) Festival and the Mountain View Folk Festival and maybe I'll finish out the summer at the Iowa State fair.
13. Fishing. I used to love to go just for the quiet. My Dad and I would go on Sunday and I would fish for like 10 minutes and then read a book the rest of the time. Fishing or reading, I think I'll do it.
14. John Prine concert.
15. Baseball. Arkansas Travelers. But not in August. too hot!
I'm officially excited about summer now. It feels good to dream. I'm thankful for the possibility of summer fun. I'll have to let you know how it goes! What's on your summer fun list?
Sunday, March 21, 2010
There are some famous people that come to mind...Jackie Kennedy, Dana Reeves, Elizabeth Edwards, Abraham Lincoln, Jesus (to name a few) who have shown resilience... but it is the people that I know personally that have undergone their fair share of pain and have come out on the other side normal that give me hope... Kie who lost her precious baby this week, all the many people I know who have been through divorce, the person in my small group, my friend who lost her husband, the person that is worried that their business is in trouble, the precious girls that find themselves living in an orphanage in Guatemala, Jesus, and me. I have been through what I consider a fair amount of personal crisis over the past couple of years. Maybe you have too.
And what I know now is that our lives won't be the same after crisis...they will be better. Hard to imagine at the time of the pain. At the moment of the pain, we don't have the tools to deal with whatever crisis we are experiencing...we pick up those tools along the way. Those tools are picked up from a good friend that has some advice, from some stupid mistakes we figure out the wrong way to go, from a book we read, from love shown over a good lunch with someone who loves you, from our relationship with God, from the little millimeter our hearts expand after some time.
All of the crappy yucky things that have ever happened to me and others...gives me hope. Because I (and everyone else) have always managed to come out on the other side not just the same, but stronger. Yay resilience...thank God that we don't end up on a heap on the floor with ruined lives every time something bad happens to us...
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I stayed at the Hotel Lopez which is $7 a day. I don't think I need to explain what kind of niceness of room you can get for $7 a day. One morning while I was waiting to leave to go to the home, I stepped out of my room (didn't want to hang around in there for too long) and there was a boy out on the sidewalk that ran over to hug me (He was actually the cleaning lady's son which made me feel a tad better about the room). He couldn't talk because he has something wrong with his mouth, but he could color. And so we sat on the sidewalk and colored and ate Goldfish crackers. Peaceful.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
On a different note...do dogs have dreams? Discuss. (Did you just have a flashback from SNL and Coffee Talk because I just did.) My Jack woke up in the middle of the night and woke me up because he was frantically pacing on the bed. Then he laid down horizontally on the pillows and stuck his nose up under my cheek. He was breathing really hard and just seemed unsettled, so of course I started petting him. That seemed to calm him down and then he let out a big sigh and moved back down to the bottom of the bed. He's such a big baby, but I this is unusual behavior even for him. I don't know what scared him but best I can come up with is a nightmare. Maybe he dreamed they stopped selling WagginTrain bones at the grocery. Whatever the reason, I really enjoyed the unexpected snuggle.
Today I am thankful for dog dreams that get me unexpected snuggles in the night and I am thankful that in a couple of hours I am going to look like a brand new person...I'm sure of it.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Most of the reason I have been in a funk and something I have battled all of my life is other's opinions of me. I let other's judgemental words affect how I feel about myself...the careless, angry, harsh words seep in and stew until somewhere in my brain something clicks and (here's the ludicrous part) I actually believe them. I do believe there is a time and a place to take constuctive criticism because we cannot always see ourselves in an accurate light, but I ALWAYS take them. After taking all of these opinions in year after year, I was starting to feel a bit crazy...especially because most opinions that come from multiple others contain conflicting information (you're great, but thoughtless, no you're thoughtful, but selfish, giving, but too quiet, too opinionated, but maybe you could be just a little less opinionated in case a,b or c, too fun, not fun enough). Most people who are were giving these opinions are not even people who really care about me. I got to a place that I didn't even know who I was supposed to be day to day.
But lately, because of many prayers, kind words from a couple of friends and a few extinuating circumstances, I know that I am ok in spite of these opinions. I am immune to all of this information. Lets face it, others are always going to be judgemental and say harsh things. Someone told me lately that I can't feel bad about myself for something that someone else is doing. I pledge to only feel bad about myself when I know that I am doing something that doesn't fit within my moral boundaries or when I know that I have hurt someone because I was careless. That's all...otherwise I think that I have turned into a pretty great person. Today I am thankful that I am ok and that the sun shines in my life again. I am happy.