Friday, October 9, 2009

Encouragement

This blog is something that I have felt for a long time that I need to do...for me for some reason unknown to me. I could say that I wanted to write more...which I did. It could be because I was at a point in my life where I desperately needed to focus on the good stuff. I also think that because journaling lets you go back and see in black and white how far you've come...I would have something to look back and see that I really do have a lot to be thankful for. It also helps to do something creative everyday so I can be creative on demand when needed. The overwhelming thing that I felt though, is that God wanted me to. He didn't speak to me in a dream, I didn't hear an audible voice, I wasn't struck by lightning, and an angel did not appear to me in a dream (although I'm not discounting those that have had those experiences). It was more a feeling that would not go away...something I just couldn't get out of my head. So I did it. And I've loved it. Except, that lately it has felt like such a burden. I mean, I'm pretty tired at night and THEN I have to come up with something that happened during the day for which I am thankful. That is kind of hard to do some days. Other days I can't wait to write and it is hard to narrow down between all of the awesome things that happened to me. But, feel like it or not, I made a commitment to myself and I feel like I actually need to try and write every day (even though I have skipped two days).

Today was one of those days. This morning I seriously considered maybe hanging it up...no one would know and I could be thankful just in my head right? But no...I need to continue what I started even if I don't want to. What kind of person would I be if I quit a month into something I committed a year of my life to? I am a champion at responsibility. I'm just not ready to deal with the disappointment of irresponsibility just yet.

Then something strange happened. Three different people emailed, facebooked or messaged me today and mentioned that they liked my blog. Really? There are people actually reading this? Their encouragement miraculously came at a time when I really really needed it. I used to really need verbal affirmation for everything that I did. I have come to the point in my life that I'm happy doing what I'm doing and its ok if nobody else likes it or thinks I'm doing a good job. But today...today I needed it. Today, I am thankful for encouragers.

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